Don't Generalise Me

I'm sure we'd all like to think that we are different, and have a respect that no- one else has. This may be true if you look at the notion of uniqueness, and individuality. Rationality may argue that these notions are simply ideas, and thus, don't really exist. They exist, rather, as concepts in one's mind, which attempt to explain why people are different from one another, whilst maintaining a commonality.

If you know me, then you know how kooky and eccentric i can be. I have my "moments", as i like to put them. Times when i am silly, weird, and often appear stupid. Another thing that makes me who i am, is the fact that i am an easy target for jokes and pranks. Maybe it's because people know i will not bite back, or that i will embarrass myself by doing so, that i am such a target. So it's established; I am different. I have certain qualities, and characteristics that may not be unique to me, but that my experiance of life has adapted to suite my "being".

So if i am different, then why can't i escape the generalisations that i constantly have to combat against, for the love of someone who i hold in high esteem. Granted, i haven't been perfect in my treatment of this person. Although, i have never sworn, hit, or raised my hand to hit this person, like another that i know. B's treatment of M has been as far away from respect as you could get,(you wouldn't even treat a stray animal they way M has been treated by B).

The disrespect reaches so far, that M now expects the same treatment from E and myself. The fact that M is now waiting for this bad treatment is understandable. The only problem i have is exactly what i've said above. B has treated M with disrespect for a long time now. I haven't. All of a sudden, however, i have been generalised. It is now a possibility to M, that i will treat them the same way. This hurts.

As i said: my treatment has been the best, we've had our moments too. However, i have not done what B has, and, whilst i don't know what the future holds; For now, i don't see myself treating this person with such disrespect. First of all, seeing as M is a person, and no person deserves to be treated the way B has treated them. Secondly, i wouldn't live with myself if i disrespected M. (I know this last sentence may seem repetitive, but it's only because i will not divulge the identity of M or B. Although, i don't believe it is difficult to decipher the code, and figure who is who).

So i guess the only question left is: What do i plan to do? The answer is simple; Nothing. I can only emphasise how i feel again and again. I won't stop, it may seem pointless, but i will persist in this case. It could, therefore, be fair to say that all i've been doing is whinging. Fair enough. It could also be said that i have to stop caring so much. The less i care, the less power someone has to hurt me. Touche to that as well. My only argument is: How do you stop caring, when it's someone you love, and in my case, someone who i hope to maintain this love for.?

Not many people do get away with generalising me. It is a pet hate of mine. For some reason, this person is the only one who can, so far, get away with it. It's what i find maddening. It's almost as if this person does it on purpose to see how far they can go; It's almost like provocation. Like i said: I don't know what will happen in the future. For now, i will persist. I am only a human, not a saint, so i don't know how long i can really last. I only hope that one day, soon, this person will see me for who i am. Despite the fact that this person should know me as well as anyone else.