We all hear, and are told, to be weary of the things we read on the World Wide Web. It is fair to say, such is the opinion of people, and rightly so, as there are many people with net access, and just as many varying opinions. It is possible to read of one's objective stance on a particular issue. It is just as possible, however, to read of one's biased, and narrow- minded opinion, on another.
For those who know me, and those who i've told, i am, in part, (mainly from the Greek part), an Imperialist. Loyalty to God, King, and Country. To some this may be childish. To others, foolish, to others it may be something they understand and also hold. Regardless, this is a belief i hold. I believe that monarchy is not such a bad thing. I believe that monarchy is something of importance, even in today's society. At the very least, monarchies still in existance today are all constitutional, most of them are anyway. The respect and the ceremony is all still there, in a way. Some, in fact, still enjoy the idea of monarchy. I do. I am a citizen of a nation apart of a commonwealth, under a constitutional monarchy.
I have always been fascinated by the history that sourrounds royal families, and royalty. Particularly, if no one has noticed, the Imperial and Royal Families of: Greece, Russia, and Great Britain. This is my trinity of "Royal Passion". Whilst i can see that Australia will become a republic, in the future, i still believe that politicians such as Prime Minister Rudd, and Oppostion leader Turnbull, inflict a great insult on the Monarchy of England. Sure, this is a serious issue that must be addressed. However, pictures of Prime Minister Rudd have circulated in the media; Drapped in the Australian flag with the title: "Rudd Republic" underneath, a wide grin on the PM's face, as though he has something to be proud of.
I have no problem with the issue being placed atop the national agenda, if it must be. I do, however, contest the display of such images, which clearly disrespect the monarchy that governs this nation. A Prime Minister of Queen Elizabeth's is her adviser. He/ She is the one entrusted to govern the nation on behalf of the Queen. Such images take advantage of the priviledge Prime Minister Rudd has been given. He drapes himself in the flag that many have died under, and with a grin, attacks the monarchy for which he works. What can one extrapolate from such disrespectful displays? The Prime Minister, the Queen's advisor, the man chosen by the people of Australia, is not happy with the power he alreay obtains. Being the Prime Minister is not enough for Prime Minister Rudd. He is searching for more. He, and Liberal leader Turnbull, are looking for how to become the last Prime Minister of Australia and the first President of the Republic of Australia.
I thought such socialist activity ended with the appaling murder of the Imperial family of Russia; Tsar Nikolas II and his family. However, i can see a modern revolution taking place, lead by noneother, than the man i call the Prime Minister of Australia; the man who is leading my country at the moment. I doubt i can i do a better job, however, i will not doubt the lack of respect and loyalty this Prime Minister has for the monarchy that he is still under.
As if this were not enough. Recently, while researching information on the Greek Royal Family, i fell into wikipedia. It was interesting to read a debate taking place between some of the monitors of the site. The dispute was over the title of Constantine, the Former King of Greece. Most sites will use this title when refering to the exiled King. However, there are some which use the variations: "Constantine, the King of Greece", and "Constantine, King of Greece".
The fairest argument put forward was: Constantine was the King of Greece. Although, he is no longer the King. Thus, he should not be given the title: the King. Having ruled the country for a period of time, and having been exiled by a false, and undemocratic referendum; the argumentor was undecided whether Constantine should remain to be called: King of Greece. Seeing as the country was now a democracy, and not a monarchy, he/ she concluded simply, no. Hence, the title: "Former King of Greece", was the most appropriate. It described the circumstance for which Constantine was no longer the King of Greece, yet allowed him the respect he is still due.
What really angered me was that some person had the audacity to hold the belief that he should loose all title/s offered out of respect. "He is no longer a King, even though he was. So he shouldn't need any title. He rules no country, so he's not a king." The only response i had to that statement, not being a monitor i couldn't respond however, is: Queen Elizabeth II's mother, the Queen Mother, was known as "Queen Elizabeth", even though she no longer wore the crown, or sat on the throne of England. What makes this case different to Constantine's, that some person should believe he should not be offered some sort of respect?
In the end the reality is that there are still monarchies in existance. Whilst their power and control has deminished, they still play a role in reminding people how society was once ordered. The royalty, when coronated, do so before the people of the nation, and sometimes, before the world. Some may not think much of the rituals and ceremonies. However, others, myself included, see that somethings, such as the coronation of a King or Queen, has theological meaning behind it. When a King or Queen is coronated, they kneel before a Holy Altar of God and vow to protect and serve the people of the nation with justice and fairness and mercy, for all their life, however long or short that may be.
Some people disregard such statements, others just don't care. I, however, and a few others, see that this is something our leaders don't do. Prime Minister Rudd didn't kneel before an Altar and make such an oath, such a promise. In fact, i didn't see the Prime Minister, and his cabinet, sworn into office. In some countries, the coronation of a King or Queen is a national holiday. The Prime Minister of my nation is sworn into office, and i hear of it on the evening edition of the news. I believe that to attempt to remove a King or Queen, in the way that Prime Minister Rudd has attempted to, is disrespectful. Regardless of the fact that such a thing will happen, he does not have to encourage, and add his personal beliefs to, the situation. Such a disgusting and disrespectful display that contests the presence of a constitutional monarchy, to me, is something of a modern revolution. Prime Minister Rudd and extremely proud republican, Turnbull, are just as bad as the soviet socialists. They haven't murdered, yet. However, the low tactics, and over- Australian patriotic speeches they've both given on the subject, are better than murder.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Suffering
I had no intention of interrupting the flow of the story. However, after today, and an event that occured at the very end of my day, i have to get this off my chest.
Freedert Mitchel Bishop is a friend i made back in year 8. It all started from French class that was run back then, before it changed to Italian. We were given the opportunity to select a few countries that we wanted pen- pals from. I chose the US as one among the other 4. Freedert was my pen- pal from Cinncinnati, Ohio. At first we started off as any other kids start off. Shyly, and our letters were rather simple and very "one- way", so to speak. What i mean is, we only asked the basic questions at first, it almost seemed stupid to send a letter so far across the globe. However, we both persisted in our endeavours.
I won't say that i know Freedert. In fact there is only one part of him that i do know. Other than that, i know there is a person that i still know nothing about, 5 years later. Freedert, what i do know about him, is a delicate human. Yes, i just said that another guy is delicate; yes, he is homosexual; No, i don't have a problem. Freedert and i had our fair share of arguments, like all friends. However, we forged a friendship unlike any other i've ever had.
Freedert had, and still has, a confidence problem. Whilst i never saw him, to see how bad it was, i know that we had at least three arguments over it. Sometimes, in fact twice, it was my misunderstanding and impatience with him. Now i regret it all. Despite the fact that it's something i look back on with a smile and a sense of fondness for him. Whilst we rarely spoke about family, i still had the chance to speak with his twin sister. I felt accepted in the family, at least, from the impression both Freedert and his sister gave me.
Recently we spoke about how Ike had hit Cinncinnati. His family was one of the fortunate one's not to have their home destroyed by the natural force of destruction. However, others weren't so lucky, and the carnage on the roads, apparently, was not a pretty sight either. I remember, now, thinking back, saying i was glad that he and his family were all well and healthy. I remember saying i wouldn't know what i'd do if i found out he'd gotten hurt, while i was still here, unable to do or say something.
Now, as i remember this, i feel as though i must have incurred a jinx or curse on him. I regret the entire conversation ever occuring. Today, at the end of my day, and what a wonderful day it was; I got a message from Freedert's sister. Freedert is in a hospital in the US, in critical condition, and in intensive care.
Freedert was walking home earlier today, when a car travelling over the speed limit swerved and hit a tree, which fell onto Freedert. Sounds like something from a t.v. show, or even a movie, doesn't it? Well, this is something slightly different, at least, to me. This is reality. The reality of suffering. I can't help but fear the worst. Sure, death is apart of life, and in some way/s, it is actually a better option, rather than living a slow death. The question i have is: Should i use this as a consolation to the fact that i am not with him, and his family, at this crucial time?
Thus far, there has only been one, two at the most, occasion/s where i have expressed how useless and hopeless i feel. This, however would bring the tally up to two, or three if it is so. I didn't know what to say, or how to respond to the message when i got it. I was shocked, i was afraid, and i was worried. Sure, suffering is apart of life; in fact it could be one of the things about life that makes it all the more worth living. The whole "getting over the mountian" concept, and finally over- coming a terrible ordeal, may be one of the things that make happy times even better.
Is it rational, however, to feel as though you've had enough, you've reached your limit? You just want things to come and go, you're sick of having things you care about ruined, destroyed, hurt or even pushed to the brink of death; Is that rational- Having enough-? Is it only human to say: Do your worst, i don't care anymore, i'm as hurt as i've ever been, as i'll ever get, i can't feel any worse than i do?
Answer/s: Probably not. It may actually hurt more to say that, than it will to hold one's peace and silence, and hope and pray for better times in the near future.
I think that's all i can do. Hope and pray. If i do loose a friend, that i hardly knew, it will hurt me more than ever. I knew nothing about this person for the 5 years i knew him. He, however, called me a friend. I called him a friend. Although, for some reason, i got the feeling that whilst we were using the same word, the meaning, for him, was deeper, than the meaning i was placing on the word. I think, now, that is what i failed to see, and what i am now regreting.
Freedert Mitchel Bishop is a friend i made back in year 8. It all started from French class that was run back then, before it changed to Italian. We were given the opportunity to select a few countries that we wanted pen- pals from. I chose the US as one among the other 4. Freedert was my pen- pal from Cinncinnati, Ohio. At first we started off as any other kids start off. Shyly, and our letters were rather simple and very "one- way", so to speak. What i mean is, we only asked the basic questions at first, it almost seemed stupid to send a letter so far across the globe. However, we both persisted in our endeavours.
I won't say that i know Freedert. In fact there is only one part of him that i do know. Other than that, i know there is a person that i still know nothing about, 5 years later. Freedert, what i do know about him, is a delicate human. Yes, i just said that another guy is delicate; yes, he is homosexual; No, i don't have a problem. Freedert and i had our fair share of arguments, like all friends. However, we forged a friendship unlike any other i've ever had.
Freedert had, and still has, a confidence problem. Whilst i never saw him, to see how bad it was, i know that we had at least three arguments over it. Sometimes, in fact twice, it was my misunderstanding and impatience with him. Now i regret it all. Despite the fact that it's something i look back on with a smile and a sense of fondness for him. Whilst we rarely spoke about family, i still had the chance to speak with his twin sister. I felt accepted in the family, at least, from the impression both Freedert and his sister gave me.
Recently we spoke about how Ike had hit Cinncinnati. His family was one of the fortunate one's not to have their home destroyed by the natural force of destruction. However, others weren't so lucky, and the carnage on the roads, apparently, was not a pretty sight either. I remember, now, thinking back, saying i was glad that he and his family were all well and healthy. I remember saying i wouldn't know what i'd do if i found out he'd gotten hurt, while i was still here, unable to do or say something.
Now, as i remember this, i feel as though i must have incurred a jinx or curse on him. I regret the entire conversation ever occuring. Today, at the end of my day, and what a wonderful day it was; I got a message from Freedert's sister. Freedert is in a hospital in the US, in critical condition, and in intensive care.
Freedert was walking home earlier today, when a car travelling over the speed limit swerved and hit a tree, which fell onto Freedert. Sounds like something from a t.v. show, or even a movie, doesn't it? Well, this is something slightly different, at least, to me. This is reality. The reality of suffering. I can't help but fear the worst. Sure, death is apart of life, and in some way/s, it is actually a better option, rather than living a slow death. The question i have is: Should i use this as a consolation to the fact that i am not with him, and his family, at this crucial time?
Thus far, there has only been one, two at the most, occasion/s where i have expressed how useless and hopeless i feel. This, however would bring the tally up to two, or three if it is so. I didn't know what to say, or how to respond to the message when i got it. I was shocked, i was afraid, and i was worried. Sure, suffering is apart of life; in fact it could be one of the things about life that makes it all the more worth living. The whole "getting over the mountian" concept, and finally over- coming a terrible ordeal, may be one of the things that make happy times even better.
Is it rational, however, to feel as though you've had enough, you've reached your limit? You just want things to come and go, you're sick of having things you care about ruined, destroyed, hurt or even pushed to the brink of death; Is that rational- Having enough-? Is it only human to say: Do your worst, i don't care anymore, i'm as hurt as i've ever been, as i'll ever get, i can't feel any worse than i do?
Answer/s: Probably not. It may actually hurt more to say that, than it will to hold one's peace and silence, and hope and pray for better times in the near future.
I think that's all i can do. Hope and pray. If i do loose a friend, that i hardly knew, it will hurt me more than ever. I knew nothing about this person for the 5 years i knew him. He, however, called me a friend. I called him a friend. Although, for some reason, i got the feeling that whilst we were using the same word, the meaning, for him, was deeper, than the meaning i was placing on the word. I think, now, that is what i failed to see, and what i am now regreting.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
A Curse For Life Pt.4: Holy and Royal Duty (Continued)
Once Father Stephanje, Alexander, and Maria had made their way around the Marriage table for the third time they all stopped and assumed their positions. Alexander and Maria stood side by side, in front of the Marriage table, and the Holy Altar of God, no longer man and woman, but husband and wife. Father Stephanje gave their hands a gentle squeeze before he joined the ranks again. The Patriarch, slowly and serenly, stepped down the three steps from the entrance to the Holy Sanctuary, and made his way to stand in front of the couple. He said the final blessing on Alexander, and then on Maria. As he did so, Father Stephanje handed the Patriarch the gospel, with which the Patriarch broke the bond of the right hands. Nothing, except God, could take away what Alexander and Maria now shared. They were married.
Alexander and Maria stood facing the Holy Altar until all the guests had filed out of the chapel. Now the clergy were removing their vestments, on the inside of the Iconastasis. The only one who remained was the Patriarch. He stood watching them both. They watched him, unable to decide if they should be happy or worried. He spoke gently and kindly.
"He loves you both." Alexander and Maria continued to watch the Patriarch.
"You are both apart of a life he once led. Now he leads a different life. One day, maybe one day he will be Patriarch. Whilst you all go your different ways, try and remain close. He has found it hard to be away from you both. I fear i love him to much, i couldn't resist the urge to grant him his hearts desire. Well, you saw the result."
Aelxander and Maria learnt something new. Father Stephanje cared more than they thought. All the time, they were worrying and hadn't given him the benfit of the doubt. Now they felt ashamed.
"Nevermind," continued the Patriarch, as if reading their minds.
"Stephanje!" he said, no louder than he already spoke. Seemingly out of nowhere, Father Stephanje appeared before his Patriarch.
"Take the Crown Prince and the Grand Duchess to the desk to sign the Marriage certifiacte. I will change and be there shortly." With that the Patriarch took his leave of the trio.
A short silence followed the departure of the Patriarch. Though they knew he didn't mind them at all, they still wanted to feel a sense of privacy. Thus, they waited till he entered the Holy Sanctuary before they fell into each other's embraces. Maria, already tearful, let out some soft sobs and fell into Father Stephanje's embrace. She hit his chest playfully twice, looking at him with a teary smile.
"I thought you were upset when we first walked in. You scared me terribly." They all chuckled again.
"Well i couldn't exactly smile and wave to you!" responded Father Stephanje
"Why not?" retorted Alexander. He was joking, but he tried his best to wear a serious expression. Maria and Father Stephanje looked at him. He stared back.
"Oh that's right Father, how silly of me!" said Maria turning on Father Stephanje, sarcastically.
"Yes why didn't you smile, wave, and do a little happy dance while you were at it? I'm sure that would have "spiced" up the drab wedding proceedings." Maria smirked and turned to Alexander.
"Play nicely children!" came a voice from behind them. They all started and turned. The Patriarch stood before them, dressed in black. He wore a soft smile, as though he, too, wanted to join in on the fun. However, Father Stephanje, Maria and Alexander all felt embarrassed. Maria blushed, Alexander silenced immediately and only spoke when spoken to, Father Stephanje bowed his head in shame. He reprimanded himself for showing such disrespect whilst still in the chapel. He didn't look up again for a while. Alexander and Maria were not as hurt this time as they were in the beginning. Now they understood how different Father Stephanje had to be.
Despite the fact that he wanted to be the way they knew him to have been, the reality of the situation was, Father Stephanje now lead a different life. Alexander wanted to help, but he knew that would mean loosing one of his closest and dearest friends. Maria wanted to help, but the pain of it all was too much for her to bear, even now.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
Alexander and Maria stood facing the Holy Altar until all the guests had filed out of the chapel. Now the clergy were removing their vestments, on the inside of the Iconastasis. The only one who remained was the Patriarch. He stood watching them both. They watched him, unable to decide if they should be happy or worried. He spoke gently and kindly.
"He loves you both." Alexander and Maria continued to watch the Patriarch.
"You are both apart of a life he once led. Now he leads a different life. One day, maybe one day he will be Patriarch. Whilst you all go your different ways, try and remain close. He has found it hard to be away from you both. I fear i love him to much, i couldn't resist the urge to grant him his hearts desire. Well, you saw the result."
Aelxander and Maria learnt something new. Father Stephanje cared more than they thought. All the time, they were worrying and hadn't given him the benfit of the doubt. Now they felt ashamed.
"Nevermind," continued the Patriarch, as if reading their minds.
"Stephanje!" he said, no louder than he already spoke. Seemingly out of nowhere, Father Stephanje appeared before his Patriarch.
"Take the Crown Prince and the Grand Duchess to the desk to sign the Marriage certifiacte. I will change and be there shortly." With that the Patriarch took his leave of the trio.
A short silence followed the departure of the Patriarch. Though they knew he didn't mind them at all, they still wanted to feel a sense of privacy. Thus, they waited till he entered the Holy Sanctuary before they fell into each other's embraces. Maria, already tearful, let out some soft sobs and fell into Father Stephanje's embrace. She hit his chest playfully twice, looking at him with a teary smile.
"I thought you were upset when we first walked in. You scared me terribly." They all chuckled again.
"Well i couldn't exactly smile and wave to you!" responded Father Stephanje
"Why not?" retorted Alexander. He was joking, but he tried his best to wear a serious expression. Maria and Father Stephanje looked at him. He stared back.
"Oh that's right Father, how silly of me!" said Maria turning on Father Stephanje, sarcastically.
"Yes why didn't you smile, wave, and do a little happy dance while you were at it? I'm sure that would have "spiced" up the drab wedding proceedings." Maria smirked and turned to Alexander.
"Play nicely children!" came a voice from behind them. They all started and turned. The Patriarch stood before them, dressed in black. He wore a soft smile, as though he, too, wanted to join in on the fun. However, Father Stephanje, Maria and Alexander all felt embarrassed. Maria blushed, Alexander silenced immediately and only spoke when spoken to, Father Stephanje bowed his head in shame. He reprimanded himself for showing such disrespect whilst still in the chapel. He didn't look up again for a while. Alexander and Maria were not as hurt this time as they were in the beginning. Now they understood how different Father Stephanje had to be.
Despite the fact that he wanted to be the way they knew him to have been, the reality of the situation was, Father Stephanje now lead a different life. Alexander wanted to help, but he knew that would mean loosing one of his closest and dearest friends. Maria wanted to help, but the pain of it all was too much for her to bear, even now.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
Sunday, September 14, 2008
A Curse For Life Pt.4: Holy and Royal Duty (Continued)
Maria entered the Imperial chapel. By the entrance of the chapel, stood Alexander. It was Eastern Orthodox tradition that the bride and groom be asked if they were approaching the Marriage alter of their own free will, and were not promised to anyone else. As Maria entered and stood by Alexander, an altar boy of the chapel handed her the candle that she would hold, lighted, for the entire marriage service.
Both, bride and groom stood in front of the congregation, the doors, and God. The Patriarch appeared at the entrance of the Iconastasis. The remainder of the clergy present were standing on either side of the entrance, forming, something, of a guard- of- honour. From the ranks stepped forward one of the two deacons. He stood in front of the Patriarch and bowed. The Patriarch blessed him. The deacon turned and proceeded to walk down to the couple.
Father Stephanje stood before the couple. He neither acknowledged them with a smile, or any friendly gesture.
"Have you, Alexander Alexandrovich, come before the Holy Altar of God, seeking marriage, of your own free will? Are you promised to another?"
Alexander knew the questions that were customarily asked. He answered them both.
"I have come before this Holy Altar of God seeking marriage of my own free will. I am not promised to any one else."
Father Stephanje turned now to Maria. Maria smiled nervously. She wanted a smile, a gesture. She got none. Her heart ached slightly, but she did what she had to.
"I have come before this Holy Altar of God seeking marriage of my own free will. I am not promised to anyone else." She faltered for a second on the second and most defining part. Father Stephanje noticed and looked straight at Maria. Maria had to avert her eyes, his gaze bore into her and seemed to expose her.
Hearing the correct responses given, Father Stephanje turned to face the altar again. Maria was slightly crest- fallen, although, she did her best to hide it. She smiled gently and tried to steel herself and hold her emotions. Father Stephanje walked before the couple, as they made their way up to stand in front of the marriage table, in front of the Iconastasis entrance. A priest from one of the major parishes in Saint Petersburg stepped forward, bowed to the Patriarch, then blessed the two rings. Up till now the rings had been resting on a golden gospel. The priest picked them up, blessed them by making the sign of the cross with them, in his hand, over the gospel. Then he gave Maria's to Alexander, he said the necessar prayers, then indicated to Alexander, who slipped the ring on Maria's fourth finger, on her right hand. He gave Alexanders to Maria, again the same occured. At this, Alexander's brother stepped forward, as best man. He crossed his hands, right over left, took the rings in his fingers and crossed them three times. Each time, he placed the rings back on the fingers of the couple. This symbolised their union for life. With this, the betrothal service was now over.
The service of Holy Matrimony begun, and continued in the symbolism and rituals which were firmly rooted in their Byzantine origins. The ceremony culminated in the crowning of the bride and groom. This part is exactly as it sounds. Two crowns had also rested upon the gold gospel. They were made of gold, and were smaller replicas of crowns. They were connected by a ribbon. The crowns were blessed, a sign of the cross made over the couple three times, and placed on the head of both bride and groom. After petitions to the Lord the crowns were removed.
At the conclusion of the crowning an epistle exerpt of Saint Paul was read, exhorting both bride and groom to unconditional love and support. This was followed by Father Stephanje reading from the Holy Gospel of John, about the miracle of Jesus at the wedding at Cana. The end of the readings brought the Patriarch down from the Holy Sancutary for the first time. After the necessary prayers and petitions, he offered the common cup of Holy Communion to the couple. He, for the first time, was the only clergy- man to offer a kind smile. The couple were slightly empowered by the gesture, despite the fact it was not a sign from him they were both waiting for.
Just as the readings finished the Priest stepped forward again. The Patriarch was now, again, before the entrance to the Holy Sanctuary. He held up a halting hand. This was unorthodox and unconventional. He indicated, the priest fell back into ranks. He indicated again. Father Stephanje stepped forward. He looked confused, shocked, but rather happy. He stood slightly taller, and prouder. He bowed then turned and looked at the couple. He wore the biggest grin on his face. Neither Alexander, nor Maria, could hold in back their smiles. Father Stephanje stood before them. He joined the right hands of Alexander and Maria, still smiling. He took up the Holy Gospel in his right hand, with his left, he gently took hold of the right hands of the couple. The necessary petitions sayed, Father Stephanje chanted, loudly and beautifully, the words of the marriage dance. These words were chanted as the couple, lead by Father Stephanje, walked around the marriage table three times. Father Stephanje lead the couple as they took their first steps as husband and wife. Maria couldn't control herself. She wanted to be a normal bride, just for a second.
With the thought of release in her mind, Maria looked to Father Stephanje. She forgot about what she had thought of doing, when she saw that Father Stephanje was already doing it. Father Stephanje, over- come with joy and love, for the union of the two people he loved dearly, was crying. Having been granted the honour of leading them, which broke tradition, Father Stephanje couldn't have asked for a better moment, in his religious career, that would shine and stay with him, no matter what.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
Both, bride and groom stood in front of the congregation, the doors, and God. The Patriarch appeared at the entrance of the Iconastasis. The remainder of the clergy present were standing on either side of the entrance, forming, something, of a guard- of- honour. From the ranks stepped forward one of the two deacons. He stood in front of the Patriarch and bowed. The Patriarch blessed him. The deacon turned and proceeded to walk down to the couple.
Father Stephanje stood before the couple. He neither acknowledged them with a smile, or any friendly gesture.
"Have you, Alexander Alexandrovich, come before the Holy Altar of God, seeking marriage, of your own free will? Are you promised to another?"
Alexander knew the questions that were customarily asked. He answered them both.
"I have come before this Holy Altar of God seeking marriage of my own free will. I am not promised to any one else."
Father Stephanje turned now to Maria. Maria smiled nervously. She wanted a smile, a gesture. She got none. Her heart ached slightly, but she did what she had to.
"I have come before this Holy Altar of God seeking marriage of my own free will. I am not promised to anyone else." She faltered for a second on the second and most defining part. Father Stephanje noticed and looked straight at Maria. Maria had to avert her eyes, his gaze bore into her and seemed to expose her.
Hearing the correct responses given, Father Stephanje turned to face the altar again. Maria was slightly crest- fallen, although, she did her best to hide it. She smiled gently and tried to steel herself and hold her emotions. Father Stephanje walked before the couple, as they made their way up to stand in front of the marriage table, in front of the Iconastasis entrance. A priest from one of the major parishes in Saint Petersburg stepped forward, bowed to the Patriarch, then blessed the two rings. Up till now the rings had been resting on a golden gospel. The priest picked them up, blessed them by making the sign of the cross with them, in his hand, over the gospel. Then he gave Maria's to Alexander, he said the necessar prayers, then indicated to Alexander, who slipped the ring on Maria's fourth finger, on her right hand. He gave Alexanders to Maria, again the same occured. At this, Alexander's brother stepped forward, as best man. He crossed his hands, right over left, took the rings in his fingers and crossed them three times. Each time, he placed the rings back on the fingers of the couple. This symbolised their union for life. With this, the betrothal service was now over.
The service of Holy Matrimony begun, and continued in the symbolism and rituals which were firmly rooted in their Byzantine origins. The ceremony culminated in the crowning of the bride and groom. This part is exactly as it sounds. Two crowns had also rested upon the gold gospel. They were made of gold, and were smaller replicas of crowns. They were connected by a ribbon. The crowns were blessed, a sign of the cross made over the couple three times, and placed on the head of both bride and groom. After petitions to the Lord the crowns were removed.
At the conclusion of the crowning an epistle exerpt of Saint Paul was read, exhorting both bride and groom to unconditional love and support. This was followed by Father Stephanje reading from the Holy Gospel of John, about the miracle of Jesus at the wedding at Cana. The end of the readings brought the Patriarch down from the Holy Sancutary for the first time. After the necessary prayers and petitions, he offered the common cup of Holy Communion to the couple. He, for the first time, was the only clergy- man to offer a kind smile. The couple were slightly empowered by the gesture, despite the fact it was not a sign from him they were both waiting for.
Just as the readings finished the Priest stepped forward again. The Patriarch was now, again, before the entrance to the Holy Sanctuary. He held up a halting hand. This was unorthodox and unconventional. He indicated, the priest fell back into ranks. He indicated again. Father Stephanje stepped forward. He looked confused, shocked, but rather happy. He stood slightly taller, and prouder. He bowed then turned and looked at the couple. He wore the biggest grin on his face. Neither Alexander, nor Maria, could hold in back their smiles. Father Stephanje stood before them. He joined the right hands of Alexander and Maria, still smiling. He took up the Holy Gospel in his right hand, with his left, he gently took hold of the right hands of the couple. The necessary petitions sayed, Father Stephanje chanted, loudly and beautifully, the words of the marriage dance. These words were chanted as the couple, lead by Father Stephanje, walked around the marriage table three times. Father Stephanje lead the couple as they took their first steps as husband and wife. Maria couldn't control herself. She wanted to be a normal bride, just for a second.
With the thought of release in her mind, Maria looked to Father Stephanje. She forgot about what she had thought of doing, when she saw that Father Stephanje was already doing it. Father Stephanje, over- come with joy and love, for the union of the two people he loved dearly, was crying. Having been granted the honour of leading them, which broke tradition, Father Stephanje couldn't have asked for a better moment, in his religious career, that would shine and stay with him, no matter what.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
Thursday, September 11, 2008
A Curse For Life Pt. 4: Holy and Royal Duty (Continued)
Alexander arrived at the Winter Palace by a horse- drawn carriage. He was dressed in fully military attire. His father, the Tsar, was also dressed in his military uniform, whilst his mother, the Tsarina, was dressed more lightly. She was, without a doubt, more beautifully dressed, although, Alexander was handsome when dressed in his ceremonial uniform. It was something of a trait that ran in his family. Gentle, and soft, features, a stern demeanour, yet the most striking of physical beings there ever were.
Alexander entered the chapel and took his place. Already inside were the Holy clergy and the Patriarch. Somewhere, amongst all the goings- on behind the iconostasis, Stephanje was there too. Alexander, now more than ever, wanted to see his cousin, to hear him say: "Nothing will change." He stood there, all alone. He was nervous, and his inner- self trembled with fear and angst. He tried to hide, thus, he looked to the front at let forth a silent and entreating prayer. There was a God, and he was merciful. Alexander had to tell himself this.
Maria also arrived via horse- drawn carriage. Her fathr, like the Tsar, was in full, ceremonial, military dress, as per the Danish standard. Her mother was dressed equally as beautiful as the Tsarina. However, like Alexander, it was to Maria that all adoration and cheer went from the crowd. Her pure silk dress was simple, but stylish and beautiful. It had a trail of ten meters, and was carried by four boys, two of the Royal court of Denmark, and two of the Imerial court. Maria's heart was pounding the entire time.
Before she entered the chapel, Maria's mother stopped and watched her daughter enter the Winter Palace, for the last time, as her own. She smiled, walked over and planted a soft kiss on her daughter's forehead. She smiled once more, placed her hand softly on Maria's cheek, then left. Maria instantly thought of Stephanje. She didn't know why, but her mother's display of affection seemed to have triggered the affection she felt for Stephanje. Maria begun to think if her mother's touch had actually awakened the feeling that she may have been making a serious mistake.
Maria's heart beat faster, if that is possible. However, she, somehow, composed herself and calmed her heart down. She breathed easy and made her way, serenly to the entrance to the Imperial chapel. The doors were closed. Guards stood in front of either one. They neither moved or looked at her. One of the servants on the outside of the chapel approached her, as was agreed, to alert her to how they were going for time; If she was to make an immediate entrance, or if she could take a moment longer to compose herself.
The maid approached her. She was middle- aged. Although she knew that she was not allowed to communicate more than her job required her, the maid smiled gently and kindly. She courtseyed to her knew tsarevitch and offered her congratulations and well- wishes. Maria smiled in return and recieved the blessings with sincere thanks. She forgot all prior thoughts. Despite her yearning for Stephanje, she had to do this, if not for herself then for him. He was the one who convinced her to marry Alexander in the first place. This was her duty to him. Although, she would have prefered it if she was marrying Stephanje, and not Alexander. Duty first, self second. It was a lesson of sacrifice she still had to learn.
"They are ready when you are Your Imperial Highness."
"Thank- you, i just need one more moment." With that the maid courtseyed again, smiled once more, then made her way to the kitchens. Maria looked after the maid smiling gently. She offered up a small prayer to the good God above to watch over the maid. For the first time, Maria got a glimpse at how much she was truely loved by the Russian populace. She took that moment she asked for to listen carefully. Outside she heard cheering from the crowd. It was a constant chant, sometimes rising to a crucendo, other times lowering to a scream. It was the fact that there were still so many of them out there which made the chant so loud. "MARIJA, MARIJA, MARIJA" was the chant of the Russians. Maria got goose- bumps. She looked to the soldiers, drew herself up, looked at them both.
"You mention to anyone what that maid said, and no Tsar, or God above will save you." Maria recited this warning in immaculate Russian that the guards looked at her, both shocked, and genuinly scared. It was the first threat of life they'd recieved in the service of the Imperial house. They took in their stride to forget the incident prior to the Grand Duchess' entrance to the Imperial chapel. She smiled after scaring the day- lights out of the guards, nodded and waited to be presented to the Russians once more, no longer a Princess, but their Grand Duchess. As of the moment she would take her first steps as bride to Alexander, Maria would be Her Imperial Highness; She would be higher than the rank of Princess. She would be a Grand Duchess to the throne of Russia. Maria was ready for it all. Her heart swelled with pride and love. This was now her life, and she would embrace it all, wholely and completely.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
Alexander entered the chapel and took his place. Already inside were the Holy clergy and the Patriarch. Somewhere, amongst all the goings- on behind the iconostasis, Stephanje was there too. Alexander, now more than ever, wanted to see his cousin, to hear him say: "Nothing will change." He stood there, all alone. He was nervous, and his inner- self trembled with fear and angst. He tried to hide, thus, he looked to the front at let forth a silent and entreating prayer. There was a God, and he was merciful. Alexander had to tell himself this.
Maria also arrived via horse- drawn carriage. Her fathr, like the Tsar, was in full, ceremonial, military dress, as per the Danish standard. Her mother was dressed equally as beautiful as the Tsarina. However, like Alexander, it was to Maria that all adoration and cheer went from the crowd. Her pure silk dress was simple, but stylish and beautiful. It had a trail of ten meters, and was carried by four boys, two of the Royal court of Denmark, and two of the Imerial court. Maria's heart was pounding the entire time.
Before she entered the chapel, Maria's mother stopped and watched her daughter enter the Winter Palace, for the last time, as her own. She smiled, walked over and planted a soft kiss on her daughter's forehead. She smiled once more, placed her hand softly on Maria's cheek, then left. Maria instantly thought of Stephanje. She didn't know why, but her mother's display of affection seemed to have triggered the affection she felt for Stephanje. Maria begun to think if her mother's touch had actually awakened the feeling that she may have been making a serious mistake.
Maria's heart beat faster, if that is possible. However, she, somehow, composed herself and calmed her heart down. She breathed easy and made her way, serenly to the entrance to the Imperial chapel. The doors were closed. Guards stood in front of either one. They neither moved or looked at her. One of the servants on the outside of the chapel approached her, as was agreed, to alert her to how they were going for time; If she was to make an immediate entrance, or if she could take a moment longer to compose herself.
The maid approached her. She was middle- aged. Although she knew that she was not allowed to communicate more than her job required her, the maid smiled gently and kindly. She courtseyed to her knew tsarevitch and offered her congratulations and well- wishes. Maria smiled in return and recieved the blessings with sincere thanks. She forgot all prior thoughts. Despite her yearning for Stephanje, she had to do this, if not for herself then for him. He was the one who convinced her to marry Alexander in the first place. This was her duty to him. Although, she would have prefered it if she was marrying Stephanje, and not Alexander. Duty first, self second. It was a lesson of sacrifice she still had to learn.
"They are ready when you are Your Imperial Highness."
"Thank- you, i just need one more moment." With that the maid courtseyed again, smiled once more, then made her way to the kitchens. Maria looked after the maid smiling gently. She offered up a small prayer to the good God above to watch over the maid. For the first time, Maria got a glimpse at how much she was truely loved by the Russian populace. She took that moment she asked for to listen carefully. Outside she heard cheering from the crowd. It was a constant chant, sometimes rising to a crucendo, other times lowering to a scream. It was the fact that there were still so many of them out there which made the chant so loud. "MARIJA, MARIJA, MARIJA" was the chant of the Russians. Maria got goose- bumps. She looked to the soldiers, drew herself up, looked at them both.
"You mention to anyone what that maid said, and no Tsar, or God above will save you." Maria recited this warning in immaculate Russian that the guards looked at her, both shocked, and genuinly scared. It was the first threat of life they'd recieved in the service of the Imperial house. They took in their stride to forget the incident prior to the Grand Duchess' entrance to the Imperial chapel. She smiled after scaring the day- lights out of the guards, nodded and waited to be presented to the Russians once more, no longer a Princess, but their Grand Duchess. As of the moment she would take her first steps as bride to Alexander, Maria would be Her Imperial Highness; She would be higher than the rank of Princess. She would be a Grand Duchess to the throne of Russia. Maria was ready for it all. Her heart swelled with pride and love. This was now her life, and she would embrace it all, wholely and completely.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
A Curse For Life Pt. 4: Holy and Royal Duty
It was a fine autumn morning. Slightly crispy. There was a cold breeze, reminding all that winter was near; although, the presence of the sun countered this cold. At least, in the sun, one could stay warm. In the shade, the cold was felt more. Maria was awake at 7am. She was not attended on until 7:30. Maria lay in her double bed, in the Alexander Palace, her hands behind her head, watching the ceiling whilst deep in thought over the past year.
From the little news she'd recieved of Stephanje, Father Stephanje as he was now to be known, (and will be refered to as such from here on in), he was doing well. From the obvious addition of the title "Father" before his name, he had been ordained. One thing he had come to admire about his Patriarch was that there was no influence of politics in the Church. The Church was left to her own devices, and was autonomous. It was by the grace of God, through the Patriarch, that the Tsar wore his Crown. With no blessing on it, it remained a crown, not an Imperial crown. As for the Tsar, he would not be recognised as such in the Church, if there was no Holy blessing.
In that one year away, Stephanje had changed greatly. He was as humble as ever before. As quiet as before. However, unlike before, he now looked upon the Imperial family with a respect, which itself, demanded a respect above that which he was showing. It was in the small things that the difference now showed. In the distance; physically, socially, politically, that he maintained. In the addition of "Father", he was no longer Stephanje. Along with this came the custom of the laity, including the Imperial family, kissing his right hand. The first, however, to acknowledge his change, and, thus, accepting it, was his cousin. Most held the belief that the Tsar should have been the first to recognise Stephanje, however, the Tsar held no grudge. In fact he welcomed the idea that his son, attached so strongly to his cousin, was the first to remind him of the love they shared for each other. The rest followed suite.
Just over six months after his ordination as deacon, Stephanje was ordained a priest. This time Maria was the first to recognise his step- up. All the while Stephanje grew more and more humble and quiet. He hardly spent time at the Palace any more. He had been placed at the Cathedral of Saint Petersburg. At the request of Maria and Alexander, the Patriarch agreed to allow Stephanje to be present at their marriage. He made no promise, however, that Stephanje would be able to conduct the part of the ceremony, where the priest, holding the right hands of the couple, walks them around a table three times; the first steps an Orthodox couple make as husband and wife. The priest holding the gospel would symbolise Christ, who would lead the couple on their journey, together. It was significant, and symbolic. It still is today.
Maria got dressed with the aid of her maid- servants. The Imperial family had gathered at the Alexander Palace, while Maria and the Danish Royal family got prepared in the Catherine Palace. Alexander and his Maria were to be married in the Imperial Cathedral of the Winter Palace, in Saint Petersburg. The wedding was attended by all the royalty and nobility of Europe. Russia's aristocracy had all turned up for the wedding, along with 8,000 people crowding the streets of Saint Petersburg.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
From the little news she'd recieved of Stephanje, Father Stephanje as he was now to be known, (and will be refered to as such from here on in), he was doing well. From the obvious addition of the title "Father" before his name, he had been ordained. One thing he had come to admire about his Patriarch was that there was no influence of politics in the Church. The Church was left to her own devices, and was autonomous. It was by the grace of God, through the Patriarch, that the Tsar wore his Crown. With no blessing on it, it remained a crown, not an Imperial crown. As for the Tsar, he would not be recognised as such in the Church, if there was no Holy blessing.
In that one year away, Stephanje had changed greatly. He was as humble as ever before. As quiet as before. However, unlike before, he now looked upon the Imperial family with a respect, which itself, demanded a respect above that which he was showing. It was in the small things that the difference now showed. In the distance; physically, socially, politically, that he maintained. In the addition of "Father", he was no longer Stephanje. Along with this came the custom of the laity, including the Imperial family, kissing his right hand. The first, however, to acknowledge his change, and, thus, accepting it, was his cousin. Most held the belief that the Tsar should have been the first to recognise Stephanje, however, the Tsar held no grudge. In fact he welcomed the idea that his son, attached so strongly to his cousin, was the first to remind him of the love they shared for each other. The rest followed suite.
Just over six months after his ordination as deacon, Stephanje was ordained a priest. This time Maria was the first to recognise his step- up. All the while Stephanje grew more and more humble and quiet. He hardly spent time at the Palace any more. He had been placed at the Cathedral of Saint Petersburg. At the request of Maria and Alexander, the Patriarch agreed to allow Stephanje to be present at their marriage. He made no promise, however, that Stephanje would be able to conduct the part of the ceremony, where the priest, holding the right hands of the couple, walks them around a table three times; the first steps an Orthodox couple make as husband and wife. The priest holding the gospel would symbolise Christ, who would lead the couple on their journey, together. It was significant, and symbolic. It still is today.
Maria got dressed with the aid of her maid- servants. The Imperial family had gathered at the Alexander Palace, while Maria and the Danish Royal family got prepared in the Catherine Palace. Alexander and his Maria were to be married in the Imperial Cathedral of the Winter Palace, in Saint Petersburg. The wedding was attended by all the royalty and nobility of Europe. Russia's aristocracy had all turned up for the wedding, along with 8,000 people crowding the streets of Saint Petersburg.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
Sunday, September 7, 2008
A Curse For Life Pt.3: Interlude
In the split second it took Maria to blink, she remembered all this. She now looked about the room. It was filled to the brim. It was colourful and vibrant, more so looking from above. Maria still wore her kind and gentle smile. Although, now, it was something consciencously being done. Not a separate action of her physical body, seemingly, from her spirit, or soul.
During the year that passed, from the time of Stephanje's departure from her world and her acceptance of Alexander's proposal, nothing much happend. The preparations begun, surely, but nothing was causing a buzz or a stir.
Alexander truely loved Maria. He knew that she had chosen Stephanje over him first, but the point was, he was going to marry her. He was close with Stephanje. In a way he was slightly put down for being second choice, least of all to his cousin, who didn't much care for marriage anyway. As children Stephanje and Alexander would talk about how Alexander would only want Stephanje to be the priest to marry him, and crown him Tsar, and when he did so, he'd make Stephanje is only council and Patriarch too. Alexander smiled. The first of the promises was going to be fulfiled. Stephanje would marry him. Whilst his ego was wounded, he didn't heal it, he thought, instead, how it must have been for Stephanje to turn down the Princess. He was away on duty when his cousin had left to attend the Cathedral. Everytime he heard the bells ring, he'd look to them and think of his cousin looking out from one of the towers towards Tsarskoe- Celo.
Maria returned to Denmark. She was measured up and with that her wedding dress soon to be the talk of Europe. It, as per custom, was hand- made. It would be made of pure silk, and take the entire year to make. She would, however, be the prettiest picture in white;
(See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maria_Feodorovna_(Dagmar_of_Denmark , for an image of Maria, in her dress).
Since both Maria and Alexander had been rehearsing for their marriages for a while now, it was mere revision of the Russian Orthodox marriage liturgy Maria had to do. Out of all the things that still had to be done, Maria needed to be named. Of course, she had to convert from Lutheranism to Orthodoxy. Thus, she had to take up a name that would be reflective of the Russian life ahead of her, both socially, and religiously. Hence, she took up the name Maria Feodorovna. She was invested with the title Her Imperial Highness the Grand Duchess upon her acceptance of Alexander's proposal. Soon, however, and sooner than even Maria herself realised; She would be taking up the title, Her Imperial Majesty. This didn't sink in till Maria was on her way to the Imperial Cathedral in the Winter Palace, to be married.
Over the course of the year, Maria made it her duty to learn the Russian language, so that she could relate to the Russian people a lot more. It was this news about their new Tsarina that the Russian people were drawn to. Her determination, and devotion was heard of, and appreciated. Thus, over the course of the year, the Russian populace would grow to adore the Grand Duchess, and this bond would last, through hell and high water, as the saying goes.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
During the year that passed, from the time of Stephanje's departure from her world and her acceptance of Alexander's proposal, nothing much happend. The preparations begun, surely, but nothing was causing a buzz or a stir.
Alexander truely loved Maria. He knew that she had chosen Stephanje over him first, but the point was, he was going to marry her. He was close with Stephanje. In a way he was slightly put down for being second choice, least of all to his cousin, who didn't much care for marriage anyway. As children Stephanje and Alexander would talk about how Alexander would only want Stephanje to be the priest to marry him, and crown him Tsar, and when he did so, he'd make Stephanje is only council and Patriarch too. Alexander smiled. The first of the promises was going to be fulfiled. Stephanje would marry him. Whilst his ego was wounded, he didn't heal it, he thought, instead, how it must have been for Stephanje to turn down the Princess. He was away on duty when his cousin had left to attend the Cathedral. Everytime he heard the bells ring, he'd look to them and think of his cousin looking out from one of the towers towards Tsarskoe- Celo.
Maria returned to Denmark. She was measured up and with that her wedding dress soon to be the talk of Europe. It, as per custom, was hand- made. It would be made of pure silk, and take the entire year to make. She would, however, be the prettiest picture in white;
(See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maria_Feodorovna_(Dagmar_of_Denmark , for an image of Maria, in her dress).
Since both Maria and Alexander had been rehearsing for their marriages for a while now, it was mere revision of the Russian Orthodox marriage liturgy Maria had to do. Out of all the things that still had to be done, Maria needed to be named. Of course, she had to convert from Lutheranism to Orthodoxy. Thus, she had to take up a name that would be reflective of the Russian life ahead of her, both socially, and religiously. Hence, she took up the name Maria Feodorovna. She was invested with the title Her Imperial Highness the Grand Duchess upon her acceptance of Alexander's proposal. Soon, however, and sooner than even Maria herself realised; She would be taking up the title, Her Imperial Majesty. This didn't sink in till Maria was on her way to the Imperial Cathedral in the Winter Palace, to be married.
Over the course of the year, Maria made it her duty to learn the Russian language, so that she could relate to the Russian people a lot more. It was this news about their new Tsarina that the Russian people were drawn to. Her determination, and devotion was heard of, and appreciated. Thus, over the course of the year, the Russian populace would grow to adore the Grand Duchess, and this bond would last, through hell and high water, as the saying goes.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
Friday, September 5, 2008
A Curse For Life Pt.2: The Blink (Continued)
It turned out, as Maria found out a few days after the ball, that Stephanje wasn't the only Russian there. He had accompanied his cousin, the tsarevitch Alexander. Maria shared a dance with both. It was Stephanje she admired, but it was Alexander who was there for her. Stephanje, not being married, was bound by custom to dance with the Princess. He was of course, a bachelor. This, Maria extrapolated, was the reason why he'd answered her, in a way, rudely. Why he didn't wish to indulge in the thought of marriage.
Her father begun to pester her. It was time she'd made a choice. Maria did make her choice. It wasn't a real shock, but it did cause a stir; the very foundations of her soul shook. Soon after announcing her choice to her parents, Maria was on her way to Saint Petersburg. Although her choice was not yet known to the Russian tsarevitch, Stephanje would recieve a surprise.
Stephanje was away on duty in his barracks when a messenger of the Tsar's approached. He saw the messenger approaching from the window of his office. He prepared himself. The messenger entered and bowed to him. Stephanje acknowledged the messenger and allowed him to deliver his message. His father, and his uncle, the Tsar, wished to see him, post- post haste at Tsarskoe- Celo. Stephanje immediately left with the messenger. When his father called, the matter was important. When his uncle and Tsar called, something was happening.
Stephanje entered the office of his uncle and Tsar, he bowed. His uncle, as always, was happy to see him, and spoke to him as always. His father, on the other hand, was more anxious. The Tsar asked Stephanje to sit.
"Stephanje, the Princess Maria of Denmark is here and has announced her choice for suitor." Begun the Tsar abruptly and promptly. Stephanje missed the point, and wore a smile.
"I am glad God has allowed such a blessing upon you, my Tsar, and your son, my cousin-" Stephanje stopped at the Tsar's chuckle and his fathers nervous laugh. The smile dissappeared. Now Stephanje knew what his uncle meant.
"You mean she chose me?!" He stood, indignified. What was she playing at? He had told her he wanted nothing of marriage. The Tsar stood up to calm the lad. Stephaje loved his uncle, but he respected him as Tsar, and thus, obliged immediately.
"Calm yourself Stephanje, the matter can be easily resolved. Your cousin doesn't know yet. Thus, you still have time to make a choice. This is, of course, a proposal for your hand, too. So, do you accept?" the Tsar looked at him. The Romanov- blue eyes staring into his. Soft, gentle, yet honourable and regal. Stephanje made his choice.
"May i have a moment to speak with the Princess myself?" He asked. The Tsar nodded. He pointed to a door on the left of the office.
"She is in the west study," He said.
"And Stephanje," Stephanje looked back. The Tsar looked right at him, seemingly, inside him too.
"Don't be to tough, she is only responding the way any girl would. Don't take that as an insult, God has been gracious to you. Be slightly thankful." The Tsar said wisely. Stephanje felt terrible at the way he'd behaved earlier. He bowed out of respect. Then left the office.
He entered the west study and saw her sitting by a window looking out. She looked up as he entered. She stood and courtseyed. Stephanje bowed. She stepped a little closer. She looked slightly anxious too. She smiled kindly though.
"Many good wishes of welcome Your Highness. I hope your journey to our Russia was easy?" He begun politely.
"It was good enough." Maria replied simply. There was tension in the room. An awkwardness.
"You chose me?" Stephanje stated.
"I love you!" Maria returned. She smiled nervously again.
Stephaje smiled gently.
"But i told you i wasn't looking for marriage. I'm looking for something else."
"What?" Maria asked, wanting to know.
"I...i want peace, solitude, to be a priest." He said finally.
Maria stared at him. Her heart broke. He wanted, not only to remain unmarried, but to completely shut himself off interacting with her for good.
"This isn't about you, it is something i've wanted to do since i can remember."
"Then why did you come to the ball?" Maria tried to hold back tears, but the damn things got in her eyes anyway.
"Out of obligation, not want."
"You said you'd marry me-"
"If i didn't think i'd end up like my father!" Stephanje spoke over her. He was calm, and spoke gently. It only made the words hurt more. Too much good behaviour pounded into them from a young age, Maria and Stephaje were able to scream, but prefered not to. It contradicted the way they wanted to live their lives. All they had been taught about how they should live their lives.
Maria turned away from him. She begun to cry silently. She looked out of the window. In the distance she could see the Cathedral where the Archbishop of Saint Petersburg often conducted the liturgies of the Orthodox faith. The bells of the cathedral were the biggest in all the city, the only one's to contest the greatness of those at the Patriarchal palace in Moscow. They rung now in a sequence. It was loud, and beautiful. Steaphanje shifted behind her. Maria turned. He was staring, longingly out of the window in the direction of the cathedral.
"Is that what you really want?" she asked him. He looked at her, smiled gently and nodded. Maria sighed softly. She stepped closer to him, gave him a kiss on each cheek, then one extra on his right cheek. She stepped back, smiled at him.
"Then go now. Maybe if you hurry you can be the one to marry me." She smiled at him with tears in her eyes again. He smiled at her. Kissed her hand, the turned and left.
Stephanje left the palace and went immediately to the cathedral. He returned that night to his fathers residence, on the out- skirts of Saint Petersburg. He wa to attend the college of Theology in Saint Petersburg as soon as the year begun. He would study for a year, after which he would be, God willing, ordained a deacon. It was soon news around the nation, that the Tsar's nephew was giving up his royalty, to become the first royal ordained a priest. He left home immediately to begin spending time, and getting used to being away from the "Out side" world he was used to.
Maria was convinced by Stephanje, soon after his return from the cathedral, to take his cousin, Alexander. Maria was to remain in Saint Petersburg for another week. In this one week she grew more fond, and closer with Stephanje than even they noticed. It was only when, at the end of the week, Maria accepted Alexander's proposal, and Stephanje took his leave from all to go to the cathedral, that they both realised how theirs was a love forbidden. Their love would not do to be seen, or acknowledged, ever again. It would be better to bury it, and forget it, than to risk having it resurface.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
Her father begun to pester her. It was time she'd made a choice. Maria did make her choice. It wasn't a real shock, but it did cause a stir; the very foundations of her soul shook. Soon after announcing her choice to her parents, Maria was on her way to Saint Petersburg. Although her choice was not yet known to the Russian tsarevitch, Stephanje would recieve a surprise.
Stephanje was away on duty in his barracks when a messenger of the Tsar's approached. He saw the messenger approaching from the window of his office. He prepared himself. The messenger entered and bowed to him. Stephanje acknowledged the messenger and allowed him to deliver his message. His father, and his uncle, the Tsar, wished to see him, post- post haste at Tsarskoe- Celo. Stephanje immediately left with the messenger. When his father called, the matter was important. When his uncle and Tsar called, something was happening.
Stephanje entered the office of his uncle and Tsar, he bowed. His uncle, as always, was happy to see him, and spoke to him as always. His father, on the other hand, was more anxious. The Tsar asked Stephanje to sit.
"Stephanje, the Princess Maria of Denmark is here and has announced her choice for suitor." Begun the Tsar abruptly and promptly. Stephanje missed the point, and wore a smile.
"I am glad God has allowed such a blessing upon you, my Tsar, and your son, my cousin-" Stephanje stopped at the Tsar's chuckle and his fathers nervous laugh. The smile dissappeared. Now Stephanje knew what his uncle meant.
"You mean she chose me?!" He stood, indignified. What was she playing at? He had told her he wanted nothing of marriage. The Tsar stood up to calm the lad. Stephaje loved his uncle, but he respected him as Tsar, and thus, obliged immediately.
"Calm yourself Stephanje, the matter can be easily resolved. Your cousin doesn't know yet. Thus, you still have time to make a choice. This is, of course, a proposal for your hand, too. So, do you accept?" the Tsar looked at him. The Romanov- blue eyes staring into his. Soft, gentle, yet honourable and regal. Stephanje made his choice.
"May i have a moment to speak with the Princess myself?" He asked. The Tsar nodded. He pointed to a door on the left of the office.
"She is in the west study," He said.
"And Stephanje," Stephanje looked back. The Tsar looked right at him, seemingly, inside him too.
"Don't be to tough, she is only responding the way any girl would. Don't take that as an insult, God has been gracious to you. Be slightly thankful." The Tsar said wisely. Stephanje felt terrible at the way he'd behaved earlier. He bowed out of respect. Then left the office.
He entered the west study and saw her sitting by a window looking out. She looked up as he entered. She stood and courtseyed. Stephanje bowed. She stepped a little closer. She looked slightly anxious too. She smiled kindly though.
"Many good wishes of welcome Your Highness. I hope your journey to our Russia was easy?" He begun politely.
"It was good enough." Maria replied simply. There was tension in the room. An awkwardness.
"You chose me?" Stephanje stated.
"I love you!" Maria returned. She smiled nervously again.
Stephaje smiled gently.
"But i told you i wasn't looking for marriage. I'm looking for something else."
"What?" Maria asked, wanting to know.
"I...i want peace, solitude, to be a priest." He said finally.
Maria stared at him. Her heart broke. He wanted, not only to remain unmarried, but to completely shut himself off interacting with her for good.
"This isn't about you, it is something i've wanted to do since i can remember."
"Then why did you come to the ball?" Maria tried to hold back tears, but the damn things got in her eyes anyway.
"Out of obligation, not want."
"You said you'd marry me-"
"If i didn't think i'd end up like my father!" Stephanje spoke over her. He was calm, and spoke gently. It only made the words hurt more. Too much good behaviour pounded into them from a young age, Maria and Stephaje were able to scream, but prefered not to. It contradicted the way they wanted to live their lives. All they had been taught about how they should live their lives.
Maria turned away from him. She begun to cry silently. She looked out of the window. In the distance she could see the Cathedral where the Archbishop of Saint Petersburg often conducted the liturgies of the Orthodox faith. The bells of the cathedral were the biggest in all the city, the only one's to contest the greatness of those at the Patriarchal palace in Moscow. They rung now in a sequence. It was loud, and beautiful. Steaphanje shifted behind her. Maria turned. He was staring, longingly out of the window in the direction of the cathedral.
"Is that what you really want?" she asked him. He looked at her, smiled gently and nodded. Maria sighed softly. She stepped closer to him, gave him a kiss on each cheek, then one extra on his right cheek. She stepped back, smiled at him.
"Then go now. Maybe if you hurry you can be the one to marry me." She smiled at him with tears in her eyes again. He smiled at her. Kissed her hand, the turned and left.
Stephanje left the palace and went immediately to the cathedral. He returned that night to his fathers residence, on the out- skirts of Saint Petersburg. He wa to attend the college of Theology in Saint Petersburg as soon as the year begun. He would study for a year, after which he would be, God willing, ordained a deacon. It was soon news around the nation, that the Tsar's nephew was giving up his royalty, to become the first royal ordained a priest. He left home immediately to begin spending time, and getting used to being away from the "Out side" world he was used to.
Maria was convinced by Stephanje, soon after his return from the cathedral, to take his cousin, Alexander. Maria was to remain in Saint Petersburg for another week. In this one week she grew more fond, and closer with Stephanje than even they noticed. It was only when, at the end of the week, Maria accepted Alexander's proposal, and Stephanje took his leave from all to go to the cathedral, that they both realised how theirs was a love forbidden. Their love would not do to be seen, or acknowledged, ever again. It would be better to bury it, and forget it, than to risk having it resurface.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
A Curse For Life Pt.2: The Blink (Continued)
Maria stood still for a second to compose herself. She smiled gently. She stepped out into the ball- room. The guests bowed and courtseyed to the beautifull Princess. Maria was a jewel. She walked gracefully through the parted crowd to the high table. She took her seat to the right of her father. All the while she smiled gently and pleasantly. At once the rest of the guests seated themselves and begun to talk amongst themselves. The buzz was electric. It was all for Maria. Her beauty, her style, and the jewel she'd make.
The eligible bachelors were all excited and couldn't wait to have their moment on the floor with the Princess. It was custom for the Princess to dance with all the eligible bachelors invited. The ball- room had a few of them. Maria alread spotted them out, from her vantage point and begun to analyse and make judgements based on looks alone. She knew this wasn't at all safe, but she wanted to start making her job easier, and her life less tedious. Maria wanted to see if he was there. Who this he was she didn't know. She hoped, however, that the love of her life, whoever he was, would be there. All save one were ruled out. She didn't recognise him either.
The orchestra was playing pleasantly till the point when the guests had finished their desert. All at once the orchestra begun to play a piece. The King and his daughter rose from their seats. The hopefulls all stood up too. The father and daughter made their way to the floor. At once the orchestra played the music to a Russian waltz. They were sensational dancers. Simple and yet perfect and elegant. It was a sight to behold. Midway, the King bowed, and his daughter courtseyed. Now she was a woman, and he presented her to the bachelors. He made his way off the floor. Maria waited. She would wait till one of the fools had the nerve to put her out of her misery and ask her to dance.
None approached in the seconds that passed since her father left the floor. He younger brother, George, the future king of Greece was 13 at the time. He was close with Maria. He knew now, that she was in need. He stepped forward. He looked at all the bachelors with a frown as he approached his sister. He rounded to face her and bowed. Maria was shocked, but smiled and courtseyed. The guests found this amusing, some laughed, others smiled sweetly. The brother and sister danced a round of the floor. George would show them how it was done. When they reached the centre again he stopped and bowed. Maria smiled and courtseyed. George looked at the bachelors and held out his hand, as though offering it to Maria. George looked around, frowning.
"Step forward or loose your chance!" he informed them one last time.
The guest didn't hear him, though, the bachelors all did. The guests all smiled again. It was something of a sweet sight, and Maria was thankful for George's courage and love. One by one the bachelors gained courage within themselves. One stepped forward, the rest all reprimanded themselves for not being quicker off the mark. He bowed low, Maria courtseyed politely. They danced a round of the floor. They spoke a few words. All the while Maria remained pleasant and friendly. By the end of the round she scratched him from the list. Another stepped forward. So the night continued. Maria danced with bachelors from all across Europe. One country would be lucky. Which was it to be?
As the bachelors all had their turn Maria scratched more and more and considered very few. It was nearing the end that he stepped forward to dance. He bowed. It wasn't low, but it was with the simplicity and humble character he seemed to possess that he did so, which made it seem all the more respectful. Maria caught herself smiling dreamily at him. She composed herself. She courtseyed and off they went.
"Your name soldier?" asked Maria kindly.
"Stephanje, Your Highness." His voice was gentle, and quiet. To quiet for a soldiers, thought Maria.
"How long have you served in the army of Russia?" She asked trying to learn as much in little time.
"Since i was old enough to hunt, Highness." The answer was vague. Maria didn't like it, but she respected the privacy he wanted to maintain.
"How do you come to be of Royal status then?" The question was impertinent. She reprimanded herself again. It was out of line. Before she could correct the mistake he answered.
"My father is cousins with the Tsar of Russia, Highness." He looked at her kindly, she looked at him, but hid her embarrassment.
"What do you plan to do later in life?"
"Whatever comes my way, Highness. I don't wish to limit myself, or the possibilities." She liked the answer, but it didn't give much to the marriage factor.
"Don't you wish to marry soldier? A beautiful woman, to have a family?" She inquired innocently. Stephanje smiled.
"I would marry you in an instant Your Highness, if i didn't think i'd end up like my father." Maria blushed. Then she smiled at him.
"So you don't wish to marry?" she asked again to clarify.
"No Highness." He replied plainly.
"Why are you here then?" She asked. Again she was out of line. He answered before she corrected it.
"Duty." She looked at him bewildered.
"That's no way to speak or to answer!"
"You prefer a lie?"
"You could have changed the subject totally-" he cut her off
"And be rude! What a thought." He smiled at her. She was taken aback by his quick change of the mood. She calmed herself.
They completed the round. He stopped. Bowed again, simply and humbly. She courtseyed and stared after him. Stephanje. The name echoed in her head like the tolling of a church bell. It would ring at about the same time, all the time. It would be heard, even from afar, and summon up all her feelings and emotions of that dance.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
The eligible bachelors were all excited and couldn't wait to have their moment on the floor with the Princess. It was custom for the Princess to dance with all the eligible bachelors invited. The ball- room had a few of them. Maria alread spotted them out, from her vantage point and begun to analyse and make judgements based on looks alone. She knew this wasn't at all safe, but she wanted to start making her job easier, and her life less tedious. Maria wanted to see if he was there. Who this he was she didn't know. She hoped, however, that the love of her life, whoever he was, would be there. All save one were ruled out. She didn't recognise him either.
The orchestra was playing pleasantly till the point when the guests had finished their desert. All at once the orchestra begun to play a piece. The King and his daughter rose from their seats. The hopefulls all stood up too. The father and daughter made their way to the floor. At once the orchestra played the music to a Russian waltz. They were sensational dancers. Simple and yet perfect and elegant. It was a sight to behold. Midway, the King bowed, and his daughter courtseyed. Now she was a woman, and he presented her to the bachelors. He made his way off the floor. Maria waited. She would wait till one of the fools had the nerve to put her out of her misery and ask her to dance.
None approached in the seconds that passed since her father left the floor. He younger brother, George, the future king of Greece was 13 at the time. He was close with Maria. He knew now, that she was in need. He stepped forward. He looked at all the bachelors with a frown as he approached his sister. He rounded to face her and bowed. Maria was shocked, but smiled and courtseyed. The guests found this amusing, some laughed, others smiled sweetly. The brother and sister danced a round of the floor. George would show them how it was done. When they reached the centre again he stopped and bowed. Maria smiled and courtseyed. George looked at the bachelors and held out his hand, as though offering it to Maria. George looked around, frowning.
"Step forward or loose your chance!" he informed them one last time.
The guest didn't hear him, though, the bachelors all did. The guests all smiled again. It was something of a sweet sight, and Maria was thankful for George's courage and love. One by one the bachelors gained courage within themselves. One stepped forward, the rest all reprimanded themselves for not being quicker off the mark. He bowed low, Maria courtseyed politely. They danced a round of the floor. They spoke a few words. All the while Maria remained pleasant and friendly. By the end of the round she scratched him from the list. Another stepped forward. So the night continued. Maria danced with bachelors from all across Europe. One country would be lucky. Which was it to be?
As the bachelors all had their turn Maria scratched more and more and considered very few. It was nearing the end that he stepped forward to dance. He bowed. It wasn't low, but it was with the simplicity and humble character he seemed to possess that he did so, which made it seem all the more respectful. Maria caught herself smiling dreamily at him. She composed herself. She courtseyed and off they went.
"Your name soldier?" asked Maria kindly.
"Stephanje, Your Highness." His voice was gentle, and quiet. To quiet for a soldiers, thought Maria.
"How long have you served in the army of Russia?" She asked trying to learn as much in little time.
"Since i was old enough to hunt, Highness." The answer was vague. Maria didn't like it, but she respected the privacy he wanted to maintain.
"How do you come to be of Royal status then?" The question was impertinent. She reprimanded herself again. It was out of line. Before she could correct the mistake he answered.
"My father is cousins with the Tsar of Russia, Highness." He looked at her kindly, she looked at him, but hid her embarrassment.
"What do you plan to do later in life?"
"Whatever comes my way, Highness. I don't wish to limit myself, or the possibilities." She liked the answer, but it didn't give much to the marriage factor.
"Don't you wish to marry soldier? A beautiful woman, to have a family?" She inquired innocently. Stephanje smiled.
"I would marry you in an instant Your Highness, if i didn't think i'd end up like my father." Maria blushed. Then she smiled at him.
"So you don't wish to marry?" she asked again to clarify.
"No Highness." He replied plainly.
"Why are you here then?" She asked. Again she was out of line. He answered before she corrected it.
"Duty." She looked at him bewildered.
"That's no way to speak or to answer!"
"You prefer a lie?"
"You could have changed the subject totally-" he cut her off
"And be rude! What a thought." He smiled at her. She was taken aback by his quick change of the mood. She calmed herself.
They completed the round. He stopped. Bowed again, simply and humbly. She courtseyed and stared after him. Stephanje. The name echoed in her head like the tolling of a church bell. It would ring at about the same time, all the time. It would be heard, even from afar, and summon up all her feelings and emotions of that dance.
c. John Apotsis 2008- 2009
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