Human Psychology

The other day, on myspace, i was invited by a University PhD student to undergo a survey for his PhD thesis. It was random, but i was interested. J.R is studying Psychology at University in Melbourne, and his thesis is on the Psychological impact/s blogging can have on users, socially and personally. Being a dedicated, and committed, blogger myself i got slightly worried, and curious.

I undertook the online survey, however, and coming out of it, it's interesting to note how much you realise. One thing i learnt undergoing the survey was: An impact of online blogging is that often the blogger begins to use the blog as a personal diary, of sorts. Thus, they become vulnerable, in a way, as they are "putting out there" their personal emotions and experiances. This, in turn, could be the effect of social isolation, or could cause someone to socially recede.

It was at this point of the survey that i got scared, and worried, and i think for fair enough reasons too! Although, i couldn't help but think all through the survey: "The main reason i begun a blog in the first plac was to express myself in a creative way, and to improve on my writing skills". This is true. However, i will not deny that there are articles on my blog which are personal, and yes, in a way, depending on how you percieve them, they could be considered diary entries too. I will not deny that sometimes i have used my blog to vent anger or express an opinion. Countering this, however, i reiterate: The main reason i begun my blog was to creatively express myself, and improve on my writing skills. Having the ability to express myself and my feelings and thoughts and emotions, in a, seemingly, diary format, to me, developed as i begun to feel more comfortable with the creative expression i was developing.

Now i'm no psychologist. I'm sure, however, if J.R. were to read this he would probably be able to come out and say something like: "John you're in denial" or "John i understand you", (hahaha). However, being as truthful as i could possibly be, not only for myself, but for the benefit of J.R in his research for his PhD, this is a crucial point that i could not over- look. A development of my creative expression and style was the main instigating purpose for me beginning a blog. As i've said before: I think as i developed the creative voice, and style, that is unique to me, i begun to feel more confident about blogging about more personal issues and experiances.

I have kept a written diary and journal, and still do actually. One thing i notice, is that they way i write in my journal is much more different to the style of voice i use when blogging. I think this is because i imagine an audience, when i'm blogging, thus, i write in an almost conversational and informal voice, whilst maintianing some wit and sophistocation. In fact, sometimes i imagine myself as a soft- news journalist writing for a publication, of which i am an acclaimed journalist for. Writing for my journal, however, i am only writing to myself. Hence, the style of voice is more intimate, it lacks the imaginitive audience, and thus, it possess more of the "inner human" of me, emotionally, psychologically, and characteristically.

I don't exactly know, but i was scared doing the survey, and about some of the answers i gave. I was honest with myself, and i think that's apart of the reason i'm slightly insecure. Answering questions about oneself you come to realise certain things about yourself you may not have realised before. Sometimes these can be good things, but what if they're not? Is it only human nature not to like answering questions you know you yourself don't like the answer to, but know the answer to be true? (confused? i think i confused myself slightly there too :P )

Do i use my blog to vent anger, express opinions, document certain events in an almost diary format, document experainces i've had, and express myself in a creative voice? Yes. I do. However, i firmly stick by the fact that i know the venting, the expression of opinion/s, and the documentation of experiances and events, came after i developed my creative voice and style. Once i became comfortable with the style i was going to use, and the language, i felt like there was more i was able to give. Becoming comfortable with my "readers", or the fact that i was advertising my feelings and emotions, in a way, i felt as though there was more of a connection i could make.

You could call me insane, and you'd probably be right in doing so. The bottom line, i think is: I have friends, both online, and face- to- face. I can turn to friends in either context and have the same level of support. There is, however, a distinction that must be made. Having friends i can see, is a different experiance to having friends i can't see, physically, and can only speak to via IM messaging or MSN. However, i do not, and i hope you all agree, think that i am socially isolated. I hope that i am not overly shy to approach and make new friends. Even if i was, i don't think it would stand for much because, to me, all that stands out is the fantastic group of friends i have, both online and face- to- face...

...Enough said! :)